Talking with Pixies
Talking with Pixies is a role-based structure for a person at a crossroads: in a group of four, one person describes a goal they feel stuck on, an interviewer draws out what they do to advance and to undermine it, and two 'pixies' voice the opposing inner commitments, one arguing for change and one for protection. The pixies first whisper at the same time into the listener's ears, then restate their views clearly. It is a Liberating Structure co-developed by Ian Prinsloo, Keith McCandless and members of the Seattle Liberating Structures user group, and it draws on the 'immunity to change' work of Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey.
Facilitation script
- 1
Give the invitation. Individuals silently pick a crossroads and the goal they want there.
3 min - 2
Demonstrate the steps with four volunteers and define the listener, interviewer, innovator pixie and protector pixie roles.
6 min - 3
Form quartets, choose roles and arrange the chairs.
2 min - 4
The listener shares the challenge and goal.
3 min - 5
The interviewer asks the questions about why the goal matters and which actions advance or undermine it. The pixies take notes.
4 min - 6
Pixie whispers with the listener's eyes closed, then each pixie restates their perspective clearly.
6 min - 7
The quartet reflects on the round. The timings here cover one listener; each further round with new roles adds 15 to 20 minutes.
3 min - 8
Full-group sharing on what people learned about competing commitments.
4 min
Tips
Use this only with groups that already trust each other, and not early in their time together; the source is explicit on this point.
Tell the pixies that they speak from the listener's own perspective and give no advice or next steps, and that both voices deserve empathy, the protective one included.
Make the interviewer responsible for pausing if the listener looks uncomfortable.
Being a listener must be a free choice, so plan the time in a way that does not require everyone to take a turn.
Common pitfalls
Running it with a group that lacks trust; listeners offer safe, trivial examples or feel exposed, and willingness to do personal work in the group drops
Pixies sliding into advice or judgement, which turns the round into a consulting session and leaves the competing commitment unexamined
Playing the protector pixie as a villain; the listener dismisses that voice instead of recognising the legitimate need behind it
Skipping the demonstration, so quartets are unsure about the whisper step and either rush it or leave it out
Putting pressure on everyone to take the listener role; someone who is not ready discloses more than they wanted to
Variations
The pixies can whisper for longer, for several minutes or until the listener asks them to stop. They can also join forces, both voicing the innovator view and then both the protector view. Online, run quartets in breakout rooms with cameras on, let the listener end the simultaneous whispering at any moment, and if overlapping audio is too jarring have the pixies alternate in rapid short phrases. With a larger audience, one leader can talk with their pixies in the centre while the others observe in a fishbowl arrangement. The source suggests following with a quiet structure such as Spiral Journal to bring people back to the present.
Where it fits
When to use it
A participant knows what they want to change and keeps acting against it, for example a manager who avoids giving critical feedback
Someone is weighing a major step, such as taking on a new leadership role, and feels pulled in two directions
A peer coaching or leadership group has built trust over several sessions and is ready for more personal work
A team going through change would benefit from understanding why capable people hold on to old ways of working
Advice has already been tried and the person is still stuck, which points to an underlying commitment and not a lack of ideas
When not to use it
The group is new or trust is low; use Troika Consulting or a Peer Coaching Circle, which ask for much less personal exposure
The person wants practical suggestions for a concrete problem; Troika Consulting or Wise Crowds provides advice, and this structure deliberately does not
A participant is in acute distress or dealing with trauma; whispered voices at close range can be overwhelming, and this is peer reflection, not therapy
Line managers and their direct reports would end up in the same quartet; people will not speak freely about self-undermining behaviour, so mix groups across reporting lines or choose another format
Participants are uncomfortable with physical closeness or with closing their eyes; use the alternating-phrase version at normal distance or skip the whisper step
Related methods
Frequently asked questions
What is Talking with Pixies?▾
Talking with Pixies is a Liberating Structure in which a person facing a difficult choice hears their own conflicting inner commitments spoken aloud by two others. Working in fours, an interviewer draws out the situation, then an innovator pixie and a protector pixie voice the case for change and the case for staying put. The aim is to identify beliefs and assumptions that are blocking progress.
Why do the pixies whisper at the same time?▾
The overlapping whispers imitate the inner chatter of someone torn between two commitments. Hearing it from outside, with eyes closed, often makes the pull of each side more noticeable. The clear restatement afterwards lets the listener take in each argument separately.
How long does Talking with Pixies take?▾
Each round takes 15 to 20 minutes per listener. With the introduction, a demonstration and group reflection, a session runs from about 30 minutes for a single round to about 95 minutes if all four members of a quartet take a turn.
Do the pixies give advice?▾
No. Pixies speak from the listener's perspective and explore competing commitments and assumptions without judging them or proposing next steps. If the listener wants advice afterwards, a consulting format such as Troika Consulting is a better place for it.
Is Talking with Pixies suitable for any group?▾
No. It needs trust among participants and should not be used early in a group's time together or where trust is low. Taking the listener role should always be voluntary, and the interviewer should pause the round if the listener becomes uncomfortable.
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Try it freeMethod descriptions on Workshop Weaver are original content written by our team, based on established facilitation practices. This method was inspired by work from Liberating Structures (Ian Prinsloo, Keith McCandless and the Seattle LS user group).