15 Toasts
15 Toasts is a dinner format for about fifteen guests built around a single theme, described by Priya Parker in her book 'The Art of Gathering'. During the meal each guest, at a moment of their own choosing, tells a short personal story connected to the theme and ends by raising a glass to something the story stands for. The last person to speak has to sing their toast, which keeps the evening moving.
Facilitation script
- 1
Welcome guests, let the first course arrive, then explain the format, the theme and the singing rule. Make clear that guests choose their own moment.
10 min - 2
Give the first toast yourself as host: a short, personal story that ends with 'to ...'.
5 min - 3
First run of toasts over the starter and main course. Leave pauses for eating and conversation between them.
60 min - 4
Mid-evening check: mention how many toasts remain. This usually speeds up those who have been waiting.
5 min - 5
Remaining toasts over the main course and dessert, ending with the sung toast.
50 min - 6
Close briefly: thank the guests and name one or two threads that ran through the stories.
5 min
Tips
The theme does most of the work, so pick one that can be read in more than one way and has a darker side; a theme that only invites success stories produces speeches.
As host, go early with a story that is honest and short, since the first toast sets the level of openness and the length for everyone else.
Seat everyone at one table within earshot; the format fails when half the room cannot hear.
Common pitfalls
A safe, flattering theme, which yields rehearsed anecdotes and leaves the group no closer than before
Calling on people or going round the table in order, which removes the choice of moment and turns the dinner into a round of presentations
Leaving out the singing rule, so the last guests hold back and the evening stalls well before everyone has spoken
Letting toasts run long, which exhausts attention by the halfway point and squeezes those who go last
Assuming everyone drinks alcohol or is comfortable sharing personal stories with colleagues, which pressures guests instead of inviting them
Variations
The number is not fixed: versions with eight to twelve guests per table, sometimes called a Ten Toasts dinner, follow the same rules. For a large event, run several tables in parallel with a host at each. Without a meal, the format can be run over drinks or coffee, though the pauses that eating provides are then missing. A remote version loses much of the atmosphere; if you try it, keep the group under ten and ask people to bring their own glass.
Where it fits
When to use it
A dinner is already planned and would otherwise split into side conversations between people who know each other
Participants hold senior roles and tend to present themselves through titles and achievements
A group will work together for several days and you want them to know each other as people on the first evening
A cohort or programme is ending and you want one shared conversation to close it
The group is small enough to sit at one table and hear each other
When not to use it
The group is larger than about twenty at one table: people cannot hear and the evening runs too long, so split into several tables or use Story Circles
There are strong hierarchies or tensions that make personal disclosure risky for some guests: start with lighter formats such as Check-In Questions
You want one focused discussion of a topic, not personal stories: a Jeffersonian Dinner is built for that
Attendance is compulsory and people cannot opt out of speaking: the format depends on choosing to take part
Time is short: fifteen stories with a meal need two to three hours
Related methods
Frequently asked questions
What is 15 Toasts?▾
15 Toasts is a dinner format in which about fifteen guests each give a toast on a shared theme. A toast is a short personal story that ends with raising a glass to a value or idea. Priya Parker describes the format in her book 'The Art of Gathering'.
Why does the last person have to sing?▾
The rule gives people a reason not to wait. Without it, guests tend to hold back and the toasts bunch up at the end of the evening. With it, most people volunteer earlier and the pace takes care of itself.
What makes a good theme for 15 Toasts?▾
A good theme is open enough for very different stories and has some weight to it. Themes that allow for difficulty as well as success tend to bring out more honest stories. Avoid themes tied to work performance, which lead back to status talk.
Does it have to be exactly fifteen people?▾
No. The format works with roughly ten to twenty people at one table, and adaptations with smaller tables exist. Below eight it becomes an ordinary dinner conversation; above twenty it gets too long and hard to hear.
Is 15 Toasts suitable for work teams?▾
It can be, with care. Colleagues may feel less free than strangers to share personal stories, particularly in front of their manager. Make taking part clearly voluntary, choose a theme that does not force disclosure, and offer non-alcoholic drinks as a matter of course.
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Try it freeMethod descriptions on Workshop Weaver are original content written by our team, based on established facilitation practices. This method was inspired by work from Priya Parker, 'The Art of Gathering' (2018).