Non-Violent Communication
Developed by Marshall Rosenberg, Non-Violent Communication (NVC) is a communication framework for expressing needs and resolving conflict compassionately. It has four components: Observations (what I actually observed, without evaluation), Feelings (how I feel in relation to it), Needs (the underlying need behind the feeling), and Requests (a clear, doable, positive action request). Used in facilitation, coaching, conflict mediation, and organisational development.
How to run it
- 1
Introduce the four NVC components with examples: Observation ('When I see the report submitted after the deadline…'), Feeling ('…I feel frustrated…'), Need ('…because I need reliability to plan my work…'), Request ('…would you be willing to alert me 24 hours in advance if you expect a delay?').
- 2
Practice: give pairs a conflictual scenario to role-play, first using evaluative language, then NVC language.
- 3
Debrief: what was different? What was harder? What opened up?
- 4
For facilitated conflict: help each party express their observation, feeling, need, and request.
- 5
Support the other party in reflecting back what they heard before responding.
- 6
Work toward a request that meets both parties' needs.
Tips
The hardest part is distinguishing observations from evaluations ('You always interrupt me' is an evaluation; 'In our last three meetings you spoke while I was still talking' is an observation).
Feelings lists and needs lists are useful reference tools for beginners.',
Variations
Use NVC as a personal writing practice before difficult conversations. Run NVC skills workshops as a recurring team ritual. Apply to written communication and feedback frameworks.
Where it fits
Frequently asked questions
When should I use Non-Violent Communication?â–ľ
Use Non-Violent Communication when you want to: Conflict resolution; Team communication workshops; Feedback training; Leadership development; Mediation.
How long does Non-Violent Communication take?â–ľ
Non-Violent Communication typically takes 30–90 minutes.
How many participants does Non-Violent Communication work for?â–ľ
Non-Violent Communication works best for groups of 2–20 participants.
What materials do I need for Non-Violent Communication?â–ľ
To run Non-Violent Communication you will need: NVC reference card (optional).
How difficult is Non-Violent Communication to facilitate?â–ľ
Non-Violent Communication is rated intermediate — some facilitation experience is helpful.
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