Non-Violent Communication
Developed by Marshall Rosenberg, Non-Violent Communication (NVC) is a communication framework for expressing needs and resolving conflict compassionately. It has four components: Observations (what I actually observed, without evaluation), Feelings (how I feel in relation to it), Needs (the underlying need behind the feeling), and Requests (a clear, doable, positive action request). Used in facilitation, coaching, conflict mediation, and organisational development.
How to run it
- 1
Introduce the four NVC components with examples: Observation ('When I see the report submitted after the deadline…'), Feeling ('…I feel frustrated…'), Need ('…because I need reliability to plan my work…'), Request ('…would you be willing to alert me 24 hours in advance if you expect a delay?').
- 2
Practice: give pairs a conflictual scenario to role-play, first using evaluative language, then NVC language.
- 3
Debrief: what was different? What was harder? What opened up?
- 4
For facilitated conflict: help each party express their observation, feeling, need, and request.
- 5
Support the other party in reflecting back what they heard before responding.
- 6
Work toward a request that meets both parties' needs.
Tips
The hardest part is distinguishing observations from evaluations ('You always interrupt me' is an evaluation; 'In our last three meetings you spoke while I was still talking' is an observation).
Feelings lists and needs lists are useful reference tools for beginners.',
Variations
Use NVC as a personal writing practice before difficult conversations. Run NVC skills workshops as a recurring team ritual. Apply to written communication and feedback frameworks.
Where it fits
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